Wednesday, September 30, 2009


This post comes in three parts.

After a very emotional and ridiculous visit to a doctor the other day, I had to go get my blood taken today. Which, by the way, is not a fun experience to begin with but with me it's even worse. Today, I had to fast, which meant I couldn't eat before I got the blood work done, and the blood had to be taken early in the morning which also isn't a good thing because I'm crap in the mornings... Let' s just say, I wasn't happy to see get my blood taken. But, after a long time of waiting for my name to be called like I was going to win a prize, and then go into the small room which always seems foreboding to me when it should be HAPPY and SUNSHINE...y, I finally got the blood removed.

And I'm crap when it comes to having to sit there and not look or think about the blood. (Which is weird, because I'm so into tv shows, movies, and books that have blood in them and yet I can't deal with the real thing. I sadly can never be a vampire if Eric ever asks me to. Drats.)

Then I come home and find out that during this whole time of being sick I missed an exam. And my teacher doesn't seem the forgiving type. Shoot. My day only just started and yet here I am complaining and wishing the day was over. Or maybe a redo. That sounds better.
At least I have last week's (or is it this week's?) Entertainment Weekly to read. Pam and Jim are on the cover, which pleases me, so I have that to look forward to.
And I also have writing to get back to, which is the second part of this blog post.

I have, at the moment, a million different projects that don't have anything to do with school but everything to do with what I want to do when I get done with college (I almost said 'when I grow up'. When does that phrase become unusable?). The stories sound great in my head, and quite decent in outline, but when it comes to writing them I take FOR-EV-ER. Seriously. I started to re-edit Shadow, and that was going pretty well... It wasn't as bad the second re-write. But then came the horrible feeling known as boredom, and then I seemed to be done with that project. I can't seem to focus very long on editing, or writing, or anything without getting distracted and doing something else. For the past few days instead of writing I've actually been watching fiveawesomeguys all over again on youtube, starting from the very beginning, when I know I should be writing new chapters for all my stories.

Yes, I'm only 17 and I have forever to write them, but I'm afraid that in a couple day's time I'll have new ideas and they'll push the old ones away. For instance, I originally was so obsessed with finishing my Aria Hale series (Shadow, Blue Hour, Blood Moon), but then I got the Blaine Meyer idea and suddenly the Aria stories got put on the back burner. Then I got the time traveler idea, and then I got the life after death idea, and then the damned angels idea, and then the fey idea... I have too many ideas in my head and not enough brain space or fingers or time to write them all. If only I didn't have to go to college. If only I could stop time and just write, write, write, write until I finished everything so that I can give my full attention to school (until I got ANOTHER idea, of course), but I don't think I'll ever be fortunate enough to have enough free time to just spend it all on writing. Of course, even if I did, I'm sure I'd get distracted by something...

So the point is, I have a million different stories in my head and not enough time to write them (especially since I wrote the outline to the entire damned angels series the other day... which'll be at least seven full novels. :|). I think my brain hates me.

Now, on to the third part.

I'm currently looking for an editor, or anyone actually who would be willing to read my stories and edit them properly (so then I can send them out and get them published :]). It's sort of tricky finding anyone like that where I live, and anyone I don't know so well that I'll get a little peeved if they start talking about how choppy a section can be (ex: my mother). However, I'm searching, and hoping that I'll find someone.

Ack. I suppose I have to go now. My arm is hurting, and the tape they put over where they took the blood is irritating my skin... I miss the Sesame Street band-aids.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Today is a new day.

I'm sitting here watching Gilmore Girls on my television up in my room as I'm writing this. A few minutes ago I realized I hadn't posted on this blog since last September. A whole year. My life has changed so much in an entire year. I think this'll be my reboot on this site, my redo. I'll start fresh and clean right here and now and go on about how much I'm different than the last time I wrote a post. (Which shouldn't even be considered a post since it was - what? - three words.)

Since last September I've gained and lost a boyfriend, I've gained and lost friends, and I've also graduated from high school and have been going to college. There. You're all caught up now.

College is not at all like what people tell you it's like. Sure, every college is different, every experience is different, every person is different. But, the college I'm at right now is definitely not like all the ones I've seen or read about, or the type of college that welcomes its new students with open arms, smiles, and a few hugs. My college is small, it's cramped, it's uncomfortable, and I haven't made any new friends at all. Granted, that also could be due to the fact I caught something and have been out for the past two or three weeks, but no one is all that friendly. I want these next two years to just be over as soon as possible so I can go off to somewhere better (perhaps San Francisco? I'm hoping) and make new friends and actually start working towards my future career.

It makes me feel a little bit insane that I'm writing all this to no one, and especially to the Internet, but I just had to get it off my chest. My parents aren't really all that listen-y at the moment. They keep telling me to 'Study hard, get good grades, and do my best.' I'm doing all those, but I want a social life, too. My last two best friends turned out to be users and manipulators and so I've been left with myself for these past few months, since Comic Con.

Yes, I went to Comic Con again this year. It was a lot more laid back than last year as far as what to do. I was used to the cramped metro cars, the insane amount of people on the sidewalks, not being able to sit down because of 'fire hazards.' I did get to meet a lot more celebrities than I did last year, and they were just as nice and sweet. I even met Alexander SkarsgÄrd and Stephen Moyer, who were the two most sweetest men I've ever met in my life. The only thing I found a little odd was when I was leaving Alex to move down the line at the booth (because of another shoving situation; God, I love people) he did watch me leave. But, then again, I felt like the happiest girl in the world because of it, and I don't care if no one believes me because that's just how I'll remember it until I forget it.

I think I'm getting back into the swing of things, with school, with life, with this, and I do hope to have more interesting things to talk about in the near future. For now, I'm just sick and writing this and listening to Rory and Lorelai go on and on about something amusing. Today will be a waste, but at least I wrote this.

P.S. I will talk more about my writing very soon. I've gotten many new ideas since last year and I do plan to talk about them here.

P.P.S. Does anyone know how to write a literary query? I need major help.