Saturday, May 17, 2008

His Name Was Charlie...

(Most of this has nothing to do with my writing. But if you suffer the non writing part you'll get to the writing part.)

Yesterday the most amazing thing happened to me. Well, one of the most at least.
My mare finally gave birth. It's exciting, twice as exciting as this usually would be, because last year her baby was a stillborn and so we've been waiting a while for this to happen. We were worried it would happen twice. Thankfully it didn't.
I just wanted to share the happy news :]
He's so adorable! Here's the pictures in case you're curious. I love him to death. :]
I nicknamed him Charlie Chaplin for the time being, since he has a top hat on his head. If only he had a little mustache too.
My mare is, of course, the bigger horse. Little Charlie is the small, white one.
And here's one just to show that this really is my new little joy in the world...
And now to speak of my writing...
I got a new idea for a new book. I know, I know. I haven't even finished with the others yet. But sadly this one won't leave my head. I feel like the main character in the novel, I'm hearing voices in my head! They won't stop! Please someone help me!
At least they're not telling me to KILL, KILL, KILL. That's a plus isn't it?
Either way, now I'm in the works of four - read it FOUR - novels. I don't think my schoolwork can survive this much writing time. Argh!
I have people waiting for the sequel to Shadow, and people waiting for the next chapter to 1647, plus my pride and joy at the moment, As Memory Fades. What's a girl to do?
I wish I were in my time traveler novel... At least then maybe I'd be dating a time traveler...


Anonymous said...

I'm in the process of mercilessly nit-picking chapter one of Shadow! It's a no holds barred, stone-faced editor nit-pick of the prose. Care to see it?

Anonymous said...

whoever just commented.
sure i don't mind....

Anonymous said...

In essence, you should really read Normally I don't comment on fictionpress stories because they were written for fun, but if you want to be published (unlike me) the style guides are very helpful, although the series you seem to be a fan of (Twilight) breaks many of them. Books like Eragon are a great example of what NOT to do.

A couple things I noticed about Chapter One of Shadow:
Aria's father says 'Nearly killed your mother...' to her as a young girl. You may want to consider whether or not a real person would say what your characters say.

Sentence fragments such as:
"my best reply"
"Aria Marilin Hale" - you can integrate the middle name into the first mentioning of the name.
Aren't necessary, you did a good enough job writing the sentences preceding them, making the fragments redundant.

You may also want to reconsider the infodumping (stuff about Lycan, Werewolves, Metamorphs). It's really tricky to do that without losing non-fictionpress readers, and most publishing houses will want your first 3 chapters if they respond to your query.

Start fewer sentences with 'and', and try to be a bit less choppy in the narrative.

I somehow found your story whilst reading random sci-fi/fantasy, so I didn't continue since romance isn't my thing. Seeing that you possessed the dedication to complete a book, however, and wanted to be published, I thought that the aforementioned points would increase your chances.

Anonymous said...

Spotting the grammatical and stylistic mistakes in the above post would be a great place to start!